Emotional and Mental

Grief Series: How Do I Handle Special Days?

Published: July 1, 2022

The anticipation of certain days of the year tends to cause an increase in emotions after the death of a loved one. Some of those days include the obvious such as the anniversary of their death, birthday, wedding anniversary, and holidays. For some, it may be the opening day of baseball season, the first hunting weekend of the year, or that quilt show you always attended together. The thought of spending that special day without him by your side seems undoable.

But, with a little planning, you can find a way to handle that day and even possibly get some enjoyment out of it:

  • Do you want to spend that day with others? Contact those people ahead of time and let them know you would like to be with them on that day so they can plan accordingly.
  • Do you want to spend that day alone? Make those close to you aware of your wishes. Perhaps you can set aside a certain time of the day when you plan to be alone and not reachable to others.
  • Do something to honor your loved one on that day. Bring home-baked goodies to the local fire station. Give away a couple of baseball game tickets to a friend and his dad. Love on some animals at the shelter. Donate books to an assisted living center. Bring material to her quilting group. Focus on spreading your loved one’s love/interests/name on to others.
  • Talk about her. Let others know they can talk to you about her on that special day as well. Avoiding the acknowledgement of that day tends to make the day much more difficult to process.
  • Focus on celebrating his life.
  • Decide ahead of time which traditions you would like to keep. Did you always go to a certain restaurant for your anniversary? Will you still have German chocolate cake for his birthday treat? 
  • Decide ahead of time what traditions you would like to begin. Will you go to the cemetery together as a family? Will you spend time on that day looking at photos and reminiscing? Would this be a good time to go away on a trip?

Losing someone close can be difficult to handle alone. Do you need help? Call (800) 801-4182 or (402) 354-8000 to schedule a confidential appointment.

More Resources

Written by Amy Monzingo, MS, LMHP, LMHC, Best Care EAP counselor, the 12-part Grief Series deals with all kinds off issues individuals go through on their grief journey. Whatever the cause of your grief, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can ease your sadness and help you come to terms with your loss and eventually move on with your life. 

About the Author

Amy Monzingo has been in the counseling field since 1997. She joined Best Care EAP in 1999. 

Education: BS in Human Development, MS in Community Counseling; Licensed Mental Health Practitioner with an Emphasis in Counseling, MS in Professional Counseling with an Emphasis in Childhood and Adolescence Disorders

See more articles from Amy Monzingo
amy monzingo