Grief Series: People Think I Should Be Grieving Faster Than I Am

Published: April 12, 2022

There is not an instruction book that tells us how to grieve correctly. That is because there is no specific, correct way to grieve. Usually, it is something we learn how to do on the spot through our own grief experiences. And many times there are people around us who share their experiences with grief with us. Everybody grieves differently. Some view their grief to be a very private thing while others are okay with sharing their grief with the public at large. You know yourself. Listen to what you know you need.

How do you know if you are beginning to work through your grief?

  • The intensity and frequency of emotion tends to lessen as time goes on. There will still be moments when that intense feeling is present, but for the most part you will see a gradual decline in the intensity.
  • You are able to talk about your loved one to others. The memories start to bring you joy rather than feelings of sadness.
  • Your eating, sleeping and exercising patterns return to what they were before the loss.
  • You can accept things as they are and not keep trying to return things to what they were and you establish new routines that don’t include your loved one.
  • You are able to find things you are thankful for and focus on what is going well in your life.
  • You look forward to getting up in the morning.
  • You are able to find pockets of enjoyment in your day and realize you are feeling less guilty for laughing and enjoying yourself.

Losing someone close can be difficult to handle alone. Do you need help? Call (800) 801-4182 or (402) 354-8000 to schedule a confidential appointment.

More Resources

Written by Amy Monzingo, MS, LMHP, LMHC, Best Care EAP counselor, the 12-part Grief Series deals with all kinds off issues individuals go through on their grief journey. Whatever the cause of your grief, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can ease your sadness and help you come to terms with your loss and eventually move on with your life. 

About the Author

Amy Monzingo has been in the counseling field since 1997. She joined Best Care EAP in 1999. 

Education: BS in Human Development, MS in Community Counseling; Licensed Mental Health Practitioner.

See more articles from Amy Monzingo
Photo of Amy Monzingo